Season 3, Episode 20: “The Future is Gnar” (Season Finale)
Aired: March 20, 2013 (Wednesday, 10pm)
The season 3 finale takes us to the future, 2014 to be exact, and it isn’t looking good for the dudes. Ders is literally “butthurt”, Alice is decapitated, and Adam finally gets some action from a woman…well, kind of. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s flash forward and see what 2014 is all about for the dudes:
Alice was the office gathered in the conference room and informs everyone of the new device that TelAmericorp will be using. A device (T.I.N.A.) using a celebrity voice (Tom Greene) will have 2 chances to sell to the caller and if that doesn’t work then the normal telemarketers will finish the call. But Blake doesn’t like this. Not at all. Technology is going to take over he says! We cut to the year 2014 and see Adam, Blake, and Ders locked inside their cubicle cage surrounded by a futuristic setting of cyborgs and destruction. Then cut to the main titles that have been edited. It’s a new “futuristic” and robotic look. This is the second time the main title sequence has been edited. The first was in the episode “Flashback in the Day” where Vanessa Carlton’s “1,000 Miles” plays in the background instead of the normal music.
The office kind of looks like what the guys did to the old office in the episode “Fat Cuz” but not quite the crazy. We learn that employees are going through “orientation” and Ders is the first to be strapped to the table. After Adam and Blake do some huffing, they use the can to freeze the lock and break free out of the cage. The see Jet Set and Jillian who are locked up as well but there’s not time to set them free so Jet Set gives them his precious yo-yo as a memorable gift.
Adam and Blake run free and try to find Ders but stumble on the room that controls the office. Inside is T.I.N.A. (Telecom Intelligence Negotiating Algorithm) that controls the cyborgs, but the only was inside is to use the key on Alice’s collar. Meanwhile Ders is forced to swallow a probe and Adam and Blake come to his rescue right before a spork takes out his eyes. Blake throws the yo-yo to stop the machine and Adam threats Alice and her the cyborg Montez and Waymond with a huge cutting object so they can’t interfere with their escape. As the run away, Alice decides not to chase after them because she’s in heels, so instead she will turn on the tracker inside the probe and will guide Montez and Waymond to them. Adam, Blake, and Ders find a safe spot and try to get the probe out of his body. How you ask? Ders begins by pulling it out of his but and then Blake finishes the process and the probe is a giant anal bead! Talk about being butthurt. To throw Alice off their track, they send the probe through a tube that leads right to her office.
Adam, Blake and Ders only have one door left until their escape but it is being guarded by a cyborg Bill. Since Adam doesn’t understand that cyborgs are still part human, he kills Bill while making some jokes about the movie. Once they are outside, the dudes hear that Jillian and Jet Set are about to be put through orientation. What should they do? Go save them? Adam decides that they should bolt to Las Vegas and runs to try to climb the fence. But its electrified. He can’t break his hold so Blake runs to pull him off but he’s being electrocuted as well. Man that would make a great GIF. And that exactly what Ders did right before doing the smart thing and using a slab of wood to set them free. The they run back inside to to only find that Jillian and Jet Set are already cyborgs. Damn. Now they have to find Alice and put an end to all of this! But first they go through a fight sequence with the cyborg versions of Jillian, Jet Set, Waymond, and Montez. Then they bust through the door with dramatic music to find Alice eating a sandwich. This intense moment needed some comic relief. Many it was a $5 foot long from Subway. To bad it’s not Febru-any anymore.
Alice summons a cyborg Tom Greene to kill the guys. But she’s to confident about her control. He cuts off her head instead and then runs after the guys. They pick up Alice’s head and then throw it at the mainframe door and lock themselves inside with T.I.N.A. to get away from Tom Greene. Adam approaches T.I.N.A. and fists the machine like an hardcore porn star to override the system. He “finishes” T.I.N.A. right before Tom Greene kills them all and all the cyborgs are returned to their human state with no recollection of the past. So the guys convince Tom Greene that they were all childhood friends. That’s pretty cool.
Cut back to the conference room from the beginning of the episode. We learn that everything we watched in this episode was a depiction of Blake’s story of what would happen if they allow this T.I.N.A. machine to start making calls for them. Alice thinks Blake is an idiot, like she doesn’t do that already, and tells them that this is only a pilot program and they won’t start it until next year. Whoa, thank goodness. They will probably all be dead by then anyways. What a relief. Then as they all get up to leave the conference room, Jillian begins to choke and can’t stop coughing. Blake runs to her a lays her down on the table and orders for someone to call an ambulance. Then a cyborg Waymond head pops out of her stomach and everyone in the office is in a panic!
Cut back to the original conference setting again. Blake is still telling his story. Alice says, “God Blake. Do you ever shut up?”
Cut to the end credits. “Nice!”, Dog snorts, Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah.
Be sure to stick around for season 4 coming soon!